Standing on the Edge

There are some rooms that feel different the moment you walk into them.
It may have been the AJ Hackett Bungee space itself feeling like a beehive of energy increasing as the room filled.
Or the sense of anticipation; as if something important is about to be said, or already has been, and you’re just in time to catch it.
That was the feeling at Impact100 Whakatipu’s International Women’s Day gathering this year at AJ Hackett Kawarau Bungy, where hundreds of people have stood on the edge to jump. Women gathered not just to listen, but to contribute. To give something of themselves; time, attention, experience and in return, to leave with something quietly life-shifting.

As our host Jill Brinsdon so simply put it:
“Women change things when we gather. We change rooms, we change rules and sometimes we even change the bloody theme.”
And that’s exactly what happened.

On Give to Gain IWD Theme (and what it really costs)
We often speak about generosity as something expansive. Light. Overflowing.
But Jill named something deeper as a thought to pose our three panelists Josie Spillane, Sharon Fifield and Olivia Egerton, something many women feel on a daily basis:
“Most women I know are already running on a give now, gain hopefully quite a bit later model. We give at work, we give at home, we give in the margins… we carry the unpaid care that never hits a payslip.”
There was absolutely a quiet recognition in the room.
However the invitation wasn’t to pull back, it was to open up honestly about all aspects of ‘Give to Gain’. Because: “Resilience usually comes with an invoice.”And perhaps the real work is deciding which invoices we are willing to pay.

On Standing on the Edge
There was a thread that ran through every story that night, the moment before.The moment before you speak, before you ask, before you try something you’re not entirely sure you’re ready for.
That edge.
Josie Spillane described it in a way that felt both honest and oddly freeing:
“What’s the worst that can happen? They say no? So? It doesn’t mean I’m a failure, they just said no: the end.” - Josie Spillane
We say we are scared by failure, but what if what frightens us more is the possibility of success?
And again Josie made us question honestly: “do you really want it? And if the answer is yes, just remember, it always seems impossible until you’ve done it, it’s as simple as that” - Josie Spillane

On Confidence (and borrowing it when needed)
Confidence, it turns out, is rarely something you arrive with.
It’s something you gather. Borrow. Build over time. Jills take away from spending time ahead speaking to the panelist about their stories:
“The things I wrote down having talked to these power houses is: You can’t fully prepare, borrow confidence, get a teflon coat, don’t shrink your ambition, be where opportunity can see you, stand in the way of it, expect accountability, the sacrifice needs to be worth it to you.”
There was something powerful in that, the permission to not feel ready but to land the plane anyway.
“56% of men say they would be able to fly and land a plane in an emergency… land the damn plane ladies, you’re completely capable.” - Jill Brinsdon
Not because you know exactly how. But because you have the confidence to trust yourself to figure it out.

On Life Not Balancing (and why that’s okay)
Olivia Egerton shared a sobering Four Burner theory she had recently come across from David Sedaris :
“There’s a rule that you have four burners in life… health, family, friends and work. If you want to be successful you can do three. If you want to really pull something major off, you can do two. So work on the facts and be kind to yourself that two of those things are going to drop for a while. But the reality being that you have to realise at some point that you can’t just run on two burners - taking that philosophy then made the whole idea of not trying to find work life balance but an integration of living in a moment in time that you have” - Olivia Egerton

There was no guilt in it, no illusion of perfection or ‘having it all’ as we have so often been told.
Just honesty and perhaps more importantly, permission. Not to do it all, but to be intentional with what you are doing and know that trade-offs can be chosen, not accidental.
And then, Sharon Fifield hilariously grounded the whole evening in something quietly important:
“Realising that we're all in PR not ER. At the end of the day, we’re not saving lives… Everyone will be okay.” - Sharon Fifield

On Each Other
If there was one thing that lingered long after the night ended, it was this:
We are not meant to do this alone.
Not the work, not the growth and not the hard seasons. Again and again, the conversation returned to other women, the ones who supported, challenged, lifted, and made space.
“Its our role, no matter what role you have in your life whether it be your community group or whatever you do, your responsibility as women is to bring other women through and make space for them.” - Olivia Egerton
Because the rooms we want to see in the future, more women in leadership, on boards, making decisions, don’t happen by accident.They happen because someone stepped aside, or reached back and said “here, come with me”.

A Final Thought
At the end of the evening, there was a simple challenge posed by Olivia Egerton:
“Tonight the challenge is go home and think about someone you can help”
Not change the world, not fix everything. Just one person, one coffee, one email, one quick phone call to help lift another woman up.
Because that’s how this works.
“We give to gain tonight. You gave this last hour and a half and we gained insight. We give honesty, as we have tonight, we gain courage. We give attention, we gain possibilities.” - Jill Brinsdon
And slowly, steadily, things can and do change.

Written by Olivia Bollen